Facebook - The Evolving Face of Friendship

Facebook has been a revolution on the social media scene and has changed both the definition of a friend and that of friendship. For many of us Facebook has become a mandatory part of our lives. There have been various studies conducted on usage of facebook across the world. The results in real percentage terms vary considerably, but one fact is consistent that a majority of us are addicted to social networking sites. One study has pegged about 50% of facebook users would check their updates first thing in the morning.

This is strange is it not? While the advertizing world attempts to reach out to the world, this invention is something that keeps pulling audience towards it consistently. Social meeting places come very commonly to humans. Starting from royal baths of the ancient Roman era to today’s modern multiplexes and malls, they are all over the place. It was only a matter of time before someone explored the possibility of mimicking the living world into the virtual one. The creation of facebook today seems very natural but to be able to look into the social patterns of humans and touch a raw nerve to create facebook was a sheer act of brilliance. Facebook is unique in ways, normally as an individual you control your personal information and on no other medium would you tolerate anyone leaking you personal information without your approval. Facebook provides a subtle social pressure on every user to expose more and more of his or her personal information. Whoever would have thought that they would voluntarily post their last night party pictures in every gruesome pose the next day. Every unacceptable norm in the real world is flouted on facebook and is considered acceptable. The new “no” is “yes” in the FB world.

Facebook has taken an identity of its own. The $60 billion company has entered people’s households and it’s no longer surprising to see kids expressing their love for their parents and lovers expressing their love for each other on FB. The intense desire to go public with everything from your daily chores to milestones in your life to posting achievements has become the norm of the day. It’s no longer cool to make polite conversations, it’s smarter to update your profile and wait for someone to reply. FB is the new father of the world. FB decides that you can only have 5000 friends and no more and people are still left wondering, when you can have hundreds of thousands of followers on Twitter, then what’s the big deal with FB. You are as cool as the number of friends you have on FB. Sub-500 is passé, while above 2000 and you’re a living legend, well almost - you got to reach that magic figure of 5000 to be called god. Business enterprises had their internet proxies all set up to block social networking sites. This trend continued for the past few years. Now these very organizations have realized the potential that these sites hold as a strong marketing tool. Most organizations are moving towards opening access to social networking sites in office. This is seen as a motivational tool rather than a hindrance. Today radio shows, TV programs, daily soaps, business enterprises, movie stars and even political parties have their own FB pages.

For such a new business to reach $60 billion in just 6 years since inception is a wonder in itself and goes a long way to reaffirm our faith in the power of the internet and the social fabric of mankind. And all Mark Zuckerberg and Co. did was build something to network the objects closest to our hearts, our friends. FB is a virtual site with a heart. Facebook remains the living legend, till someone digs deeper into our hearts and hits the next gold mine…

Driving trip Dec 2010 - Delhi-Udaipur-Ahmedabad-Diu-Somnath-Jamnagar-Chittorgarh

In line with my annual target to achieve something which i can call a personally enriching i decided to embark on a family driving expedition. The planning was a challenge. Just deciding where to go can be quite intimidating. I prefer the hills but driving in the hills can be quite painful and cannot be called quite an experience. So decided to sort this for myself. Ill get driven to the hills and would always drive to the plains. since the north was out, the options left were UP-MP or Rajasthan-Gujarat. Decided to pick the latter. The finally planned route was Udaipur-Ahmedabad-Diu-Somnath-Jamnagar-Chittorgarh-Delhi, a planned distance of 3000 km. I personally thought of the trip as quite challenging, had never done something of this magnitude before. Friends too thought of it as quite drastic, but had made up my mind and decided for it. Convincing my family was a bit tight but eventually all went fine and we decided to go for it.
The car a Nov 2008, Honda Civic, the family self, wife and 13 year old son,  and the plan was to drive myself across. I had done this once in 2004 and its been 6 years, was a bit excited and a bit tense. Then started the exercise of reading numerous blogs on the issue. Happy to know that many had done this and more and my trip looked like childs play. That was a comfort.
25 Dec 2010, Saturday: Delhi-Udaipur (via Jaipur-Kishangarh-Bhilwara-Chittorgarh) 

Speedometer reading -  18232 Km

 - 667.6 Km
Stay at Udaipur: Evening 25 Dec 10 to morning 27 Dec 10
Started from Vasant Kunj, a south Delhi suburb at 0643 hrs, it was a fine morning cold but relatively clear. I was to hear later from my friends that it was a very foggy day and lots of flights were cancelled. But we managed to make a safe and clear exit out of Delhi. My milometer at start(ignore the dates in all the pictures, my camera has a date problem) reads 18232 Km.We started off along NH8, all was fine till we left Gurgaon, trucks started lining up from the second toll onwards. thereafter for the entire stretch till we stopped for breakfast at 0915 hrs at Hotel Midway Tokas, about 103 KM from Delhi. Then started a long session of parathas for breakfast which would go on for the next 9 days.Half hour break later we were on our way, the entire stretch till Jaipur was in a bad state with 6 laning of roads going on. I remember i did Jaipur by road in 2006 and again in 2009 and on both occasions it was a pleasure. Now its become painful to drive to Jaipur. It took me almost 5 hours at an average speed of 50 kmph to get to Jaipur, normally a 3 hour drive. I don't recommend anyone to go to Jaipur atleast till mid 2012 hopefully by when this road work would get over. About 357 Km from Delhi and about 100 km south of Jaipur is Kishangarh.From here on there are 2 routes to Udaipur. One is along NH8 via Ajmer and the other is via Nasirabad-Bhilwara-Chittorgarh, NH 79. Based on inputs from blogs we decided to take NH 79 and it was the best possible decision. The Kishangarh-Udaipur stretch was the best highway i have driven in India(obviously the Mumbai-Pune expressway comes close, but not anything like this). This is a nice 6 lane highway lined with hotels, small and medium restaurants and scattered petrol pumps. Check the pic for a preview.  

Kishangarh-Udaipur - NH 79

Birds eyeview of Udaipur from Karnimata Temple

Lunch was at 1425 hrs at Hotel Sahyog, a small nondescript place about 440 Km from Delhi. A quick bite later we were off at 1450 hrs. I wanted to reach Udaipur before sunset, hate to drive on Indian roads in the night. We stayed at Grand Sita bang in the middle of Udaipur, would give it a 2.5 on 5. Its an average stay over hotel, that i booked thru Make my trip. Was clean and nice.Being winter i had estimated sunset at 1730 hrs, so i had about 2 1/2 hrs to cover more than 200 Km, which seems like a stretch, but the roads were fab and we reached our hotel by 1730 sharp. That was some drive almost 11 hours in the car with an exclusion of 1 hour for lunch, 10 straight hours oif driving time. Hopefully once Jaipur roads come up the Delhi Jaipur stretch would come down below 3 hours, so Delhi -Udaipur can be done in 8 to 9 hours, with an hour stopping time.The plan was to spend 25 and 26th night at Udaipur and see around the place. Very wifey plan but decided to play on. a days break was nice after the long drive. Udaipur according to me is a very hyped up city. One has better places to go in India. Hired a cab for the day, did a 1045 to 4 pm scene. Udaipur has lots of boating and a ropeway to the Karnimata temple. Got late for lunch and our taxi guys takes us to this ramshackled place. The Rajasthani thali was good and also topped it up with Dal bhaati and choorma(i understand thats a Rajasthani delicacy).The next day was supposed to be a relatively easy drive compared to the one Udaipur, so decided to sleep late. We planned to leave the next day by 8 or so.

 27 Dec 2010, Monday: Udaipur to Ahmedabad  - 256 Km
Stay at Ahmedabad: Afternoon 27 Dec 10 to morning 28 Dec 10

After a 600 km drive, 256 km seemed like childs play, so we started the next morning at 0835 hrs from Udaipur. The road leading from the hotel led us straight to Udaipur bypass on to NH8 for our onward drive to Ahmedabad.The route is via Shamalji-Himmatnagar-Gandhinagar to Ahmedabad.Unlike the Kishangarh-Udaipur stretch this road is well maintained but winding which cuts the speed.The Rajasthan border is 117 km from Udaipur, with a simple fort like structure. Its Gujarat after that , green and beautiful. The roads continue to remain nice but winding as before. Lunch was at a Punjabi joint called Hotel Nilgiri, owner by a Sardarji. He got us nice hot parathas and tea.Quite a decent and clean place. Started after a 30 min stop and reached Ahmedabad by about 1130 hrs. We checked into Hotel Comfort Inn, Sunset , very close to the airport. This was a nice hotel, i would give it a 3.5 on 5. Very spacious with nice clean washrooms and a nice view of the road below.Post lunch we visited the Gandhi Ashram in the day. It was quite a humbling experience. Think about a frail man who spent all his life to the service of the nation, his requirements were bare his physical appearance was frail but he had the strength to move a nation the size of India that too on the principle of non-violence. Very impressive.Rest of the evening was spent in the room.

28 Dec 2010, Tuesday: Ahmedabad to Diu- 525 Km
Stay at Diu: Evening 28 Dec 10 to afternoon 29 Dec 10

I did not find too many blogs writing about travelling from Ahmedabad to Diu. There are 2 routes that you can take. One via NH 8E via Bhavnagar-Una-Diu and the other via NH 8B till Rajkot-Jethpur and after Jetpur split off to NH8D which splits off to Junagarh-Veraval-Somnath and thereafter NH8E to Una-Diu. I had no precedence nor any write up hence took this the latter route via Rajkot based on an advise by the reception guy at my hotel.But my advise to readers of this blog would be to try the Bhavnagar route also, as apparently all the state buses take that route and may be 150 km odd shorter(or so my hotel receptionist told me at the Diu hotel),  however i understand that is a 2 lane route all the way from Ahmedabad to Diu so your  driving might be much slower that route remains unproven till date.We started from  Ahmedabad at 0812 hrs on 28 Dec.The road is almost straight forward, we simply caught NH8B, we reached Rajkot, at 237.5 Km from Ahmedabad at 1130 hrs(was a 3 hr 15 min drive) and stuck on NH8B till Jethpur. The road thereafter goes on to Porbandar. Here is the terrible part. There are no roadsigns to mark the exit from Jetpur to NH8D to Junagarh. So at a particular point you split off from the Porbandar route and enter Jetpur town and exiting the town takes about 20 odd min and lo and behold you are on NH8D. No signboards at all for a long time, but asking people helps. The road upto Jetpur is 4 lane and is a beautiful drive. After Jetpur, NH8D is 2 lane with no median on the road.

The condition of the road is ok till Jamnagar, i mean not too great but you can do decent speeds. We were desperate to eat Gujarati food and in Ahmedabad all we got was a load of Punjabi food. I wonder why they dont serve authentic Gujarati food in many restaurants in Gujarat. Why copy others when your cuisine is so great. Take the bypass around Jamnagar and at the south gate of  Jamnagar, we finally caught a small lunch home serving authentic Gujarati food. The thali was nice, loved the sweet dal the most. Would have loved to take a nap, but we needed to go on. The road after Junagarh started deteriorating gradually. I was wondering that 2 main attractions of Gujarat are Somnath and Gir forest and a visit to Diu,  but unfortunately the road from Junagarh right till Diu (the road is 2 lane) is pathetic. You cant drive fast as you may hit a pothole and damage your car. 100 km short of Diu the road is in terrible condition and your speed reduces to about 30 kmph. The road is an absolute disaster. Mr. Chief Minister, please do something about it, if you really want tourists to reach Somnath and carry great memories of reaching that place.The view however is fab, green fields on both sides with coconut trees. The road is lined with huge trees which give nice shade to the entire road. You need to reach Una, before you see a broken sign showing a right turn off NH8E to Diu. From this point Diu is 16 Km. We reached Diu by 1700 hrs and checked into Hotel Cidade de Diu, the hotel is in Diu town. After dumping our luggage , we walked down to the town to catch some tea and watching the sunset. It was nice to see the sea after ages. Being in Delhi, had almost forgotten the look of the sea. After a quick shower we headed towards Nagoa beach , about 8 Km from the town. Diu also has a little airport. It was a nice scenic drive. The best hotel at Nagoa beach is Radhika Resort. There are others like Hoka Resort, Rasal beach resort and Suzlon beach resort are also near the beach. You would get the best view of the beach from Hoka and Suzlon beach resorts. If i was asked to rate by looks, it would be Radhika, Suzlon and Hoka in that order. Beer at Rs. 100 with loads of sea food at Radhika resort was welcome. Dinner at Radhika is highly recommended. The next morning after breakfast we visited Diu fort, i remember visiting the fort in 1993 and feels great to be back after 17 years. The view from Diu fort is fab.We drove thru the lanes of Diu and the feeling was very very antique. We loved it. We headed back to Nagoa beach and had beer and lunch, more sea food, prawns and pomfret.


29 Dec 2010, Wednesday: Diu to Somnath- 87 Km

Stay at Somnath: Evening 29 Dec 10 to morning of 30 Dec 10
After lunch  at 1400 hrs we started from Nagoa beach for Somnath. As mentioned above the road is in pathetic shape. On the way we came across this antique ford, being used as a taxi. Probably the owner was not aware of its worth and decided to use it as a taxi.The drive took me 2 hours, something that we could have covered in about an hour and some more.Since this trip was planned in almost 4 days, all hotels at Somnath were full. There are about 3 odd good hotels at the Somnath bypass about one km out of Somnath. The ones within Somnath are small ones including 2 hostels run by the Somnath trust. Its recommended that those planning to stay at Somnath should do hotel bookings well in advance. The evening aarti starts at 7 pm, lasts for 30 min, followed by a light and sound show that starts at 745 and goes on for about an hour.Now here is the catch. There is an extremely strict dress code to enter the temple premises. Also do not carry anything with you. The following are banned. Any type of footwear(obviously), there is a place to keep your shoes but that was full when we got there, so better to go bare feet from your hotel, else keep your shoes whereever and expect to find it at your own risk, no leather including purses, belts and leather watch straps, no ladies purses, no car keys; in fact enter only with your clothes on and nothing else. There is a dress code for women too, no skirts or anything that shows your legs. Good rules, but not allowing us to carry my car key is where i was stumped and could not go inside. Wife and son had good darshan and then we went for a nice happy dinner. Great end to a lovely day. Our hostel was quite bare with no facilities except an attached bath. Had to get tea the next morning in a glass from a local tea shop. But what the hell, for a traveller these things hardly matter, the fun is to keep the travel on. The next morning we were supposed to go to Gir for a safari. I was speaking to a family while having dinner. They were staying at Gir and had come down for dinner. Apparently earlier you could phone and book and the safari, now the person booking the safari has to personally buy tickets which means standing in a line for up to 3 to 4 hours and followed by a 2 hr safari. I decided on a change of plan and decided to skip Gir forest and instead head to my next destination. This is what makes you feel like a traveller and not a tourist. For a traveller its the journey and not destinations that is more important.

30 Dec 2010, Thursday: Somnath to Jamnagar (via Rajkot) - 275 Km
Stay at Jamnagar: Evening 30 Dec 10 to morning of 01 Jan 11

Since the distance was manageable, we decided to have breakfast at Somnath (the same restaurant where we had dinner, Hotel Sukh Sagar, for those wanting to stay this is a decent hotel). Finally we left Somnath at 0957 hrs for Jamnagar. The route was via Junagarh-Jetpur-Rajkot and Jamnagar.Rajkot is 185 Km from Somnath, you take NH8D to Jetpur then NH8 from Jetpur to Rajkot. Though our map showed a couple of routes to reach Jamnagar, we finally landed up in Rajkot city (which seemed the only way we could find).  There are no sineages on the way to Rajkot indicating any turns for Jamnagar.The only way is to leave NH8 at Rajkot and enter the city , travel within the city for 8 km before you reach the state highway which takes you to Jamnagar via Dhrol.This entire stretch of  85 km is 2 lane without a median which significantly slows down the speed. Surprisingly after turning left from Rajkot we saw a ChokiDhani on our left there was no time to visit so we let it pass. An interested traveller who has missed the same in Jaipur can visit the same. Aquick lunch later we were on our way, and by 1700 hrs we  were at Jamnagar. Our destination was an isolated Naval station in Jamnagar , INS Valsura, where we were to meet and stay with a good friend of ours. Valsura is a quaint and quiet place along the sea, very peaceful . 31st afternoon was nice with some great Gujarati thali at Hotel Aaram, which apparently serves the best gujarati thali in town. And it was well worth it, the best thali till date, highly recommended to all those visiting Jamnagar.We had a nice 31st evening, got into bed by 0030 hrs and was awake again at 0500 for the next days trip. .
01 Jan 11, Saturday: Jamnagar  to Chittorgarh (via Rajkot-Ahmedabad-Udaipur) - 670 Km

Stay at Chittorgarh : Evening 01 Jan 11 to morning of 02 Jan 11

We had a long long drive ahead and i was really looking forward to it. I needed to cross the entire state of Gujarat and move as much north as possible, this was a tight target considering that i had had just about 4 hours of sleep. The best part was we had not decided where we would stop, but it was estimated to be some place after Udaipur. Also luckily we had not calculated the distance so the enormity of the task did not hit us as we begun our journey. We started from Jamnagar at 0658 hrs, it was dark, the road from Valsura to Jamnagar was in bad shape, so we made a very slow exit. The road from Jamnagar to Rajkot was more or less clear, but again being 2 lane the progress was slow. The first target ws Ahmedabad, 302 Km away from Jamnagar. We reached the Ahmedabad bypass all fine, and got on to the ring road. The ring road brought lots of confusion with it, at times we would see boards mentioning Himmatnagar and then suddenly they shifted and started showing Vadodara. It was a ring and had i taken a wrong exit i would be heading south instead of north and with 470 km more to go before sundown that was no joke. We managed to find an exit (not sure of that was the right one but a good 10 km away we finally got on to the 6 lane highway leading to Udaipur. Ahmedabad to Udaipur is 256 Km and that was an ok target.We stopped at Himmatnagar for lunch , was quite a nice hotel but stuck to roti and dal to keep it simple and had Pepsi to drive the sleep away,which it did very effectively. We finally crossed Udaipur bypass at about 1600 hrs and we were very sure of reaching Chittorgarh by 5. That's when we encountered this horrific jam just outside Udaipur. Luckily some locals helped us take a village route and before we realized we were on NH76 heading towards Chittorgarh. But the Jam had costed us about 40 odd min and we were low on fuel and cash. Luckily we found a pump that accepts cards and tanked up.1645 hrs we were off  from Udaipur and we had 113 Km to cover before sunset which apparently happens around 1730 hrs. seemed almost impossible, i was bracing up for a bit of night drive something that i hate to do in India. NH76 is a drivers paradise and there was almost nil traffic on the road and we managed to reach Chittorgarh by 1800 hrs, 113 km in 1 hour and 15 min was not bad at all. With an hours break for breakfast and lunch , we had driven for 10 hours, felt nice.Could not see much of Chittorgarh as it was already dark. Some enquiries later we finally found a decent place to stay, Hotel Nandan Palace. Very clean and welcome after a real long drive. I would give it 3 on 5. I had clocked about 700 km on 01 Jan, and from a travellers point of view i felt nice to be on the road the complete day, may be that's what i expect to do this year, quite a welcome thought. Be on the road as much as possible. The next day was also not expected to be that easy, we were about 600 km odd off Delhi and was to be a long drive. I felt ok after driving the day not tired at all. That's what happens when you doing things which you love to do.

02 Jan 11, Sunday: Chittorgarh  to Delhi (via Jaipur) - 567 Km

Delhi, Vasant Kunj : Evening 02 Jan 11 and end of journey

The next morning we were up early with a plan to be on the road by 7 am, but by the time we finally made it , it was 0737 hrs. We got on to the same highway from where we exited to Chittorgarh without fully checking the google map that i was carrying(unluckily did not get a Rajasthan map before we started, so were relying on google maps). The highway in fact was NH76, which goes to Kota. After driving about 25 odd km i realized that we were on the wrong highway. Asked locals and got into the nearest village and 5 km of bumpy roads later we were back on NH79. NH 76 comes in from Udaipur to Chittorgarh and proceeds to Kota. While to go to Jaipur you got to change over to NH79 just before Chittorgarh, somehow we missed that turn and that costed us about 45 odd min. quite an expense when you got to do about 600 km that day. But issues behind us we were on NH79 on our way to Jaipur via Kishangarh. The road up to Kishangarh was fab and so was the road up to Jaipur. But i found that the quality of traffic was bad from Kishangarh to Jaipur (too many trucks and all over the place). We crossed Jaipur at 1200 hrs, which was good time and we expected to be in Delhi by 1600 hrs.But our horror was just about to start. Six laning of the highway was in progress and we encountered massive jams at 5 to 6 place (basically whenever the highway touches a village).Finally after struggling for about 6 hours we reached Delhi and parked my car at 1800 hrs. Was quite a trip, great memories, safe driving and almost no near misses too.In all we had covered 3120 km, spent about 9 days on the move and that exceeded my last driving trip Delhi-Bikaner-Jaisalmer-Jodhpur-Jaipur-Delhi which was about 2000 km in 10 days. At finish my milometer read 21402 km.

The journey was over, or should i say this journey was over, many roads and many destinations becon, who knows when the calling is but the traveller waits and when the calling comes he just moves. My soul tells me to be ready and am all set to move...to see another distant sunset..Au Revoir.....

It’s raining in Delhi. Has global warming caught up?

It’s finally raining in Delhi. After being here for almost 10 years one of the few things I liked about Delhi was its lack of rains. Not to get me wrong it’s not that I hate rains on the contrary being a long time Mumbaikar I actually love the rains. But staying 10 years in a city where rain is a novelty has actually reset my expectations from the rain gods. I found a renewed sense of freedom to be able to move around the city almost year-long without the horrors that heavy rains almost always brought about in Mumbai. Whilst June to August spells monsoons south of Maharashtra, the same period in Delhi used to be warm and sunny. Slowly I started getting used to the freedom that was long denied to me by rain gods in Pune and Mumbai. These dry spells lasted for almost 6 years; however the weather has significantly changed over the last 4 years.

The rains made their entry into Delhi in 2006 and slowly over a period of time the so called ‘occasional shower season’ has matured to a full fledged ‘rainy season’ in Delhi. The human mind is intrinsically averse to change, as I got accustomed to a very dry Delhi, the heavens open up and its raining everywhere. Apparently Aug 10, has been the wettest August in 15 years and there have been only 7 such spells in the last 110 years in Delhi. That’s some statistics now.

The few questions that come to my mind are, what has caused this change? For once are the proponents of global warming right. Is the weather really taking a drastic turn, not sure if its for the good or worse. This article on the NASA site (http://www.nasa.gov/worldbook/global_warming_worldbook.html) reports that over the past 100 and next 100 years together, the overall temperature of earth would have gone up by about 10.4 degrees ! Now that’s a scary thought, the only comforting factor is that I won’t live a 100 years to see that temperature rise. When we look back the winter of 2009-10 in Delhi was more severe than the years before, the summer was equally unbearable and now the excessive rains. Is this nature’s way of warning us that ‘all is not well’. But frankly are any of us listening or seeing these obvious changes. The Delhi government had done its bit a couple of years back by being the only state in India to implement CNG for 100% commercial vehicles like state busses, taxis and autos. Polluting industries have been asked to move out of Delhi to its outskirts. The quality of air has improved marginally but frankly like a friend mentioned a few days back after her trip to New York. You wake up with a much clearer head in New York as compared to Delhi. How many of us have woken u to realize that you do not feel as fresh commensurate to the number of hours you have clocked in the bed.

A few years back I used to wonder how someone retiring from his or her job can decide to settle in the faraway hills or a remote beach location. I had decided I would stay in the hustle and bustle of the city and be in the middle of all the action. But 10 years of stay in Delhi and I have concluded, no more cities for me as and when I retire. It’s going to be an idyllic location, where the air is pure, the sky is clear and there is no smog between me and nature. This brings back memories of ‘Jamaica Farewell’ by Harry Belafonte;

‘Down the bay where the nights are gay,
And the sun shines daily on the mountain top
I took a trip on a sailing ship
And when I reached Jamaica I made a stop’

It’s a race against time. First we were all in villages, then we created cities and then moved to cities for better jobs, now the cities get polluted and we are rushing back to villages. Its only a matter of time before the construction industry extends its claws to every village in sight. I sadly wonder would there be any Jamaica left on earth for any of us to stop?

Choose to Live Life in Sheer Bliss

Consider the image of any regular person living this planet. Their life is their family, their work, their dreams, and above all their worries. One sees people proudly proclaiming, that they have a thinking mind, which is generating thoughts by the second. But the question you need to ask yourself is, are you generating these thoughts or is your mind generating them. Many of us fail to distinguish the subtle difference between who “you” are and who “your mind” is. The first sign of caution is when you fail to carry out this distinction.


Do you identify with any of the following?
• My mind always generates a variety of thoughts.
• Most of these thoughts are involuntary and beyond my control.
• Some of them are good and some bad both generated due to the environment external to me.
• While I enjoy and nurture the good thoughts, the bad thoughts bog me down and I am unable to do anything about it until they get resolved or die down themselves.

If the answer to majority of the above is a yes, then “you” are a slave of your thoughts or better said your thoughts have complete control over you and has the capability to govern your mood. Remember incoherent collection of thoughts in your mind is not a symbol of a thinking mind. It’s a symbol of an uncontrolled mind. Let’s take an example of your hand. It does not continue moving when you have finished bowling a cricket ball or when you finish waving goodbye to your friend where as your hand stops moving once these activities complete. The brain controls this activity. But who controls the activities of the mind. Who would stop the mind from uncontrolled thinking? That’s what we are trying to achieve here.
So the question remains how do I free myself from this rut of uncontrolled thinking?

Here are some three simple tips that worked for me.

1. The first step is to be aware that you are separate from your mind. The best way to do this is to constantly put yourself into a habit of watching what your mind is doing. Initially it may sound a bit weird and even foolish. We have many occasions that can be used to build this habit, our most hated moments, when we are driving alone, driving and stuck in traffic jams, waiting for a friend or acquaintance, waiting at airports, bus stands or railway stations, long winding travels, the possibilities are enormous. In case these locales are too disturbing sit in a quiet room and watch your mind.

2. Once you are aware what the mind is doing, the next step is to pay attention to the contents of what the mind is processing. This step is distinct from the first step which just concentrates on watching the actions of the mind. Be aware of each thought as they come in, watch as they linger on and multiply, watch them as they die down or surge. At every stage of this step you should be aware of all the thoughts that are crossing your mind

3. Now that you are aware of all these thoughts, start off by segregating the good and bad thoughts. The interesting part is that there are no good or bad thoughts. It’s our reaction to each thought that makes it good or bad. For a human mind if the reaction to a particular thought makes us happy then it’s a good thought and if it makes us sad then it’s a bad thought. For the ease of writing and understanding, let’s still call these as good or bad thoughts. We obviously don’t want to remove good thoughts from our mind, as for the bad thoughts there are 2 ways to work around them.

a. One way is to watch the thought that invokes a sad reaction within you. Be aware of that thought, identify with it, watch it grow and fall. The power of this process is that the moment you become aware of a thought that makes you sad, and watch its rise and ebb, it starts getting weak. If you are able to do this replace this thought with a good thought, now that’s your key to bliss.

b. The second way and one that worked for me, is to write down that thought which invokes a bad reaction within you. The act of simply writing down this thought makes it weak. The good part of the writing process is that you need not replace the bad thought with a good one. The moment you write the precise thought, it vanishes. In short the moment you associate with a bad thought either by watching it intensely or by writing it , the thought dies off.

By consistently practicing these 3 steps you can rid yourself of what we call “persistent worrying” and so called uncontrolled thinking of the mind. With time we would be able to gain mastery over our minds and eventually replace the uncontrolled thinking of the mind with a free thinking mind. A free thinking mind, constantly searches for thoughts that depress us, and replaces such thoughts with nice and pleasant thoughts , leading to a an enriched life of sheer bliss.

Transformation from Human to Nerd - Is the Internet robbing us of our Social Life?

In the days of the yore we used to proudly display a letter from our loved ones. The greatest moment was to receive the letter and the next best to read it. The advent of the internet opened immense possibilities and a whole new generation of entrepreneurs emerged who made their millions from the internet. I restrict my discussion on this article to the social change brought about by internet.
From the simple e-mail to instant messaging to social networking sites to use of all these on mobile platforms, the social internet threatens to rob us of our real life social fabric. A typical teenager of today is suave about handling his or her email accounts, manages multiple social networking sites, measures their success by the number of friends they have online , buy movies and songs online and end up spending more and more time online. Slowly this “virus” has crept on from the youth to all age groups and now the intrusion is almost complete. The use of the word “crept” is deliberate, as it’s just a period of time when you transform from being a normal human to a nerd typing away vigorously at your keyboard. I’m reminded of the 1986 Hollywood flick "The Fly" starring Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis. He is an eccentric scientist working on 'teleporting', a means of transporting objects through space. Geena Davis, a magazine writer decides find out more about his work. They start an affair, but Jeff believes she is still seeing her former lover. In a fit of rage he tries to transport himself, and his genes get caught up with a fly that gets into the machine. Slowly Jeff takes on the features of an insect, resulting in him slowly transforming into a huge fly.
You know you are transforming from a human to a nerd when, your personal letters already replaced by emails have now been replaced by social networking posts. Its cooler to hang out with friends on Twitter or FaceBook than to meet and chat up over cups of coffee, it’s easier to catch your favorite movie online rather than watch it with friends at a movie theatre. You’d play online games rather than a game of rugby or cricket with your friends. You rather would post a happy birthday post on FaceBook than post a card, would rather SMS a Christmas or New Year greeting than send a card. The good old photo albums have been replaced with Flickr or Picasa. Would you rather prefer a video conference with friends on Skype than meet them over an evening drink. Is the internet stealing a major portion of your family time? You claim to be spending quality time with your family, while in reality you are at home surfing away on the internet, assuming that mere presence at home spells quality. Do your spouse and you wish each other happy birthdays and anniversaries on Twitter or FaceBook? Whether you like it or not the internet is pushing deep into our lives, ripping apart every social norm as it penetrates deeper and its beyond our control. Well the transformation has begun for many and almost complete for the rest.
The latest internet usage statistics of world internet users show that almost 26% of the world population is on the internet of which North America has a 75% penetration, closely followed by Australia with 60% and India with just 7% penetration with a 380% growth to those figures over the past 10 years. At this rate we should be inching very close to the 100% mark over the next decade. So is that a sign to be happy or should it set alarm bells ringing for the social fabric of the world?
One of my mentors once told me about office etiquettes, if possible meet the person, next try to call him/her, next drop an SMS and if nothing works e-mail them. You’ll build great relationships and your work gets done smoothly. The same applies to your social life too. Spend time with your families, void of electronic media, take your son for a walk or go sporting with him, catch up with your daughters dancing classes, meet your friends over a drink or go cycling / trekking with them. Meet your dad/mom often (if you stay away), or talk to them often. Be around for their birthdays and anniversaries. We’ve all heard it’s a fast paced life and we got to catch up. Internet may be a means but not the end. We got to stop by and admire the flowers and if possible smell them too. The save trees campaign is in the right direction but the point is we need to use our online tools in moderation to strengthen our social footprint. Use the internet to boost your relationships, but remember nothing should encroach and replace “the real thing” not in the least by the “virtual”. Ironically the word “virtual” comes from the Latin word “Virtus Virtue” meaning : Possessed of certain physical virtues or capabilities. The real life is that which can be seen, felt, breathed, spoken to and heard and virtual is nothing but that, ”virtual” which Encarta dictionary defines as “hypothetical”.
So my friends go get a life………

Healing and Health Benefits of Solo Travel

Indians as a rule are used to travelling with their families; hence the idea of a solo traveler seems quite extreme to say the least. While the rest of the world has been enjoying the benefits of travelling solo, Indians are yet to come to terms with why someone would want to undertake a solo travel. Granted that we as a nation are obsessed with an intense affinity towards our families and this does trickle into our travel plans which is great, a happy family holiday leads to great bonding. But it is good for the mind and soul for one to travel alone at least occasionally.


Having personally undertaken 2 backpacking trips in India, I am a firm believer that one solo trip in a year is healing and can earn you rich health benefits. The standard benefits associated with solo travel are a great sense of freedom, ability to meet new people (which you would not like to do during a family outing), decide your own schedule, (decide what you would see and for how long), spend as much money as you feel like, the list is endless. There are numerous cons associated with solo travel. The loneliness can get to you, causing you to put your entire journey at risk by deciding to terminate it before you complete your route. You are responsible for your own safety so need to be extra cautious, can’t think of telling someone to watch your back. You need to plan your baggage and travel light, its you after all who has to manage and carry your baggage. Safety of your baggage is your responsibility, so letting it down for even a few moments may turn out to be disastrous. Despite all the cons the health and soul healing benefits of solo travel does not stop to intrigue the human mind. Many creative personalities like painters, poets, writers etc have known to take off to a solitary location where they found their creative juices flowing better.

One of the greatest gains from solo travel is your ability to absorb and retain what you see and hear. This is important, because travelling with a partner can cause you to spend time talking or more correctly acknowledging his/her presence around. Another key healer is it allows you to introspect on your life, on what has happened till date, what were the hits and misses in life. Some of the greatest ideas have occurred to me when I was alone, away travelling (on work mostly). Like Jim Morison of Doors said in one of his songs “People are strange when you’re a stranger, Faces look ugly when you’re alone”. When alone mind concocts strange ideas and some of them so oblique bordering on madness. But many of these ideas can be converted to reality and can bring huge benefits to our lives, be it work, business ideas or our relationships with friends, family, colleagues etc. Strangely these ideas only crop up when the mind is left alone and best when you’re travelling alone. Also a solo travel helps purge ones thoughts , helps better mind control and acts as a great de-stresser.

Human beings are social animals but in todays stressful times, it is important to take time off for yourself and to spend it alone so as to commence a journey of self-discovery. The best way to do this is to undertake a solo travel to an unknown destination for an unknown period.

Au revior ………

Shah Rukh Khan and Shiv Sena - Does Indian Politics and “Anything” Go Together

Actor Shah Rukh Khan’s comments on Pakistani players in IPL brings out a key issue that may have been spoken innumerable times but is reaching no where as far as a solution is concerned. The question “Can we mix politics with anything at all” be it sports, films, education etc. No answers yet. But one thing for sure, while it would be perfectly legal and acceptable for politicians to step into external domains like sports, films, education etc. the converse has time and again proved detrimental for the concerned people.

Maharashtra is abound with stories where film directors had to change acts/dialogues in films or had to apologize to the political lords of that locality to keep them appeased and more than anything to get their films to release/run in that city. Karan Johar had to apologize to Shiv Sena for referring to Mumbai as Bombay in “Wake up Sid”. Post Shah Rukh’s statement on Pakistani players for IPL, Uddhav Thackeray of Shiv Sena even went to the extent of telling him to “Stick to his profession and not dabble in other issues”. Shah Rukh reportedly apologized to Karan Johar and Kajol for ruining the prospects of MNIK, but he refused to apologize to the Shiv Sena, right or wrong? Not sure. First he makes statements which do not help anyone, definitely did not help get more Pakistani players into IPL and second it was made much after the auction so seemed more like a lip service and more a publicity stunt gone bad than anything else. He would definitely have made a difference had he spoken and more important acted much before the auction. Cricketer Sachin Tendulkar did a similar act when he innocently spoke of being an Indian first and then a Maharashtrian. Mukesh Ambani of Reliance spoke about Mumbai belonging to all of India, which again did not go well with the Maratha sons-of-the-soil.

While one could take the risk of mentioning that what the Shiv Sena is doing is incorrect, it would be perfectly in order to question the stars (read actors, sports personalities etc) of today as to what is the need for them to make politicized statements which may seem to come straight from their heart but has more damaging repercussions for the public in general. For example does Shah Rukh think making such statements would change anything? Does he have the wherewith all for bringing about the relevant change. Does Sachin think he can stop the political parties of Maharashtra from politicizing any and every issue? Don’t think so. These statements are issued by the stars in the wake of various questions from journalists who are on the lookout for spicy answers, so that they can gain publicity out of such quotes.

The political parties on the other hand are always on the look out for issues which can bring them back to public memory, which is fickle and volatile. Such statements help in keeping the party publicity machines alive and get a work hungry party worker to deliver on party goals. Internally the political parties would be gleefully lapping up such comments which give them moments of fleeting publicity. Politics is a wicked game of rising to the fore at the cost of another and by issuing dramatic statements our stars are just fueling this need. However much one hates to say this, but can’t but agree more with Uddhav Thackeray’s advise that one should stick to ones profession and not dabble in “other” issues. Do so only if you feel you have the power to make a change.

As for MNIK it turned out to be the number five movie worldwide with a $14. 2 million weekend gross.

Regards

Pradeep Eledath